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POGO Satellite Manual

5.7.2 Funeral Arrangement Checklist

5.7.3 Helping Children Who Grieve

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Children grieve when someone loved dies – even though they may not seem old enough to understand. They need to be prepared for and included in the process. By being honest, open and loving, adults can help children grieve in a healthy way. Some suggestions that may be of assistance include:

  • Tell your child what is happening in simple, honest and clear language that they can understand. Give only the information requested. Use factual words like “die” rather than “gone away” or “asleep.”
  • Hold them. Let them cry. Don’t be afraid to cry with them. Acknowledge the reality that grief hurts.
  • With warm sensitivity, listen to the child – to their feelings as well as their words. Let them know that it is OK to be sad or angry, that all their feelings are normal. Assure them that nothing they thought, did or said caused the death. Don’t hide or deny feelings.
  • Ask the child if they have any questions. They may need to ask the same questions over and over. If you don’t have all the answers, don’t pretend you do. They need your listening presence, more than answers.
  • Realize that grief causes difficulty in concentration. Schoolwork may be affected.
  • Maintain a daily routine if possible.
  • Encourage your child to decide what he or she needs and would like to do (e.g., visit the dying loved one). Prepare the child for what they will see, hear, smell and do.
  • Value and share cherished memories. Honour your loved one through special rituals.
  • Explore religious and spiritual beliefs. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers – just do your best to explain your beliefs in words children can understand.
  • Talk about whether the child wishes to attend the funeral or not. Explain that the funeral is a time to honour and remember the life of the person who died. Consider the child’s age, understanding of death and closeness to the deceased.
  • Find age-appropriate ways for children to participate in the funeral: Sharing a memory, reading a poem or drawing a picture (it could be copied and used for the service folder).

Grief is a natural expression of love for someone who has died. How the grief is expressed will vary from child to child. You know your child best and need to do what is best for them.

There are books on grief for your child to read or for you to read with your child. A list of resources is included below.  Check with your local bookstore or public library.

Bibliography

  • Saying Goodbye with Love: A Step-by-Step Guide Through the Details of Death by Sheila Martin (1999)
  • Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies: A Guide for Families by Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt (1994)
Disclaimer: Source Accuracy

You are welcome to download and save a local copy of this document in the Word and/or PDF formats provided. As the POGO Satellite Manual is subject to ongoing revisions and updates by POGO, we recommend you regularly check the online version posted at https://www.pogo.ca/satellite-manual/ to ensure you have the most up-to-date content. In the event of any inconsistency between the content of a local copy and the online version of the POGO Satellite Manual, the content of the online version shall be considered correct. Please see also the POGO Satellite Manual Disclaimer.

Record of Updates
Version NumberDate of EffectSummary of Revisions
18/24/2021Original version posted.
5.7.4 Coping with the Holidays
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In this Section

  • 1.1 History and Overview
  • 1.2 Acknowledgements
  • 1.3 Committees and Working Groups
  • 1.4 POGO Satellite Manual Disclaimer
  • 2.1 Principles of POGO Satellite Clinic Care
  • 2.2 Eligible Patients
    • 2.2.1 Children Eligible for Chemotherapy Administration in a POGO Satellite Clinic
    • 2.2.2 Children Eligible for the Management of Complications in a POGO Satellite Clinic
    • 2.2.3 Children Eligible for Supportive Care in a POGO Satellite Clinic
  • 2.3 Scope of POGO Satellite Clinic Practice
  • 2.4 Expanded POGO Satellite Clinic Practice
  • 3.1 Safe Handling, Administration and Disposal of Chemotherapy Agents
    • 3.1.1 Personal Protective Equipment
    • 3.1.2 Preparation, Transport and Storage
    • 3.1.3 Administration of IV Hazardous Drugs
    • 3.1.4 Administration of Oral Hazardous Drugs
    • 3.1.5 Disposal of Equipment/Personal Protective Equipment used to Administer Hazardous Drugs
    • 3.1.6 Safe Handling for Pharmacy
    • 3.1.7 References
  • 3.2 Accidental Exposure/Spills
  • 3.3 Extravasation Management
    • 3.3.1 Prevention and Management of Extravasations
    • 3.3.2 Antidotes and Treatments for Extravasation
    • 3.3.3 Sample Extravasation Documenting Tool
    • 3.3.4 References
  • 3.4 Injecting SC Medication Via an Insuflon
  • 3.5 Chemotherapy Administration Reference List
  • 3.6 Central Venous Catheter Care
  • 3.7 Chemotherapy Quick Reference
    • 3.7.1 Rapid Hydration
    • 3.7.2 Provider Guide: Prevention and Management of Irinotecan-Induced Diarrhea
    • 3.7.3 Capizzi Methotrexate
    • 3.7.4 Erwinia Asparaginase
  • 4.1 Management of Fever and Neutropenia
    • 4.1.1 Routine Order Sample Sheet
    • 4.1.2 Sample Fever Cards
    • 4.1.3 Criteria for low-risk designation. Risk categorization refers to risk of bacteremia and serious complications, including mortality.
  • 4.2 Pentamidine Administration
    • 4.2.1 Inhaled Pentamidine
    • 4.2.2 Intravenous Pentamidine
  • 4.3 Antiemetics
  • 4.4 Treatment of Varicella-Zoster Infections
  • 4.5 Immunization of Children with Cancer
  • 4.6 Transfusion
  • 4.7 Clinical Circumstances that Warrant Consultation with the Specialized Childhood Cancer Program
  • 5.1 Palliative Care Overview
  • 5.2 Communication
  • 5.3 Settings of Care
  • 5.4 Symptom Management
  • 5.5 End of Life
  • 5.6 When a Child Dies at the POGO Satellite Clinic
  • 5.7 Appendix: Sample Bereavement Materials
    • 5.7.1 Reconciling Your Grief
    • 5.7.2 Funeral Arrangement Checklist
    • 5.7.3 Helping Children Who Grieve
    • 5.7.4 Coping with the Holidays
    • 5.7.5 The Grief Experience
  • 5.8 References
  • 6.1 Goals and Objectives
  • 6.2 Participant Site Selection
    • 6.2.1 Tertiary Hospital Site Selection
    • 6.2.2 Community Hospital Site Selection
  • 6.3 POGO’s Roles
    • 6.3.1 PHIPA, Privacy and Research
  • 6.4 Funding
    • 6.4.1 Funding Support for Tertiary Hospital Activity
    • 6.4.2 Funding Support for Community Hospital Activity
  • 6.5 Infrastructure and Formal Requirements
    • 6.5.1 Specialized Childhood Cancer Program Partners’ Role in the POGO Satellite Program
    • 6.5.2 POGO Satellite Clinic Partners’ Role in the POGO Satellite Program
  • 7.1 Preamble
  • 7.2 Investigator Responsibilities
  • 7.3 Training Requirements
    • 7.3.1 General Training for Conduct of Research
    • 7.3.2 Protocol-Specific Training
  • 7.4 Research Activities That May Be Completed in POGO Satellite Clinics Under Supervision of DSI
  • 7.5 Research Activities to be Completed in Specialized Childhood Cancer Programs Only
  • 7.6 Recognition and Reporting of Adverse Events (AEs)
  • 7.7 Data Transfer
  • 7.8 Pharmacy Drug Accountability
  • 7.9 Site Inspections and Quality Assurance
  • 8.1 Pediatric Oncology Shared Care Initial Data Transfer Sheet
  • 9.1 POGO Satellite Clinic Preparedness Checklist
  • 9.2 POGO Satellite Clinic Quality Assurance Checklist
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