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Conversations With My Mom: A Childhood Cancer Survivor’s Guide to Awkward Health Talks

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Jamie Irvine
According to his mom, Jamie is the one on the left.

“Mom, why doesn’t that man have any hair?”
“Can I have a chair with wheel like that lady?”

Ah…the unfiltered curiosity of children. My twin brother and I were masters of asking deeply personal, highly inappropriate questions at the absolute worst times. Our poor mother was (and still is) my go-to person for pretty much everything. Like many parents, I am sure she sometimes dreaded fielding our loud and awkward inquiries in public places, but she always handled it with patience (and the occasional deep sigh).

Fast forward to our teenage years, my mother probably braced herself for awkward questions about puberty, sex or some horrifying combination of the two. But life threw a different kind of curveball: at age 11, I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML). Suddenly, my questions weren’t just embarrassing—they were existential.

“Why is this happening to me?”
“Am I going to die?”

While she did not always have a definitive answer, she answered truthfully and the best she could. And now, more than 20 years post-treatment, I still go to her first when I have a health question.

Which led to the semen sample incident.

One particularly awkward situation came about after my oncologist suggested a fertility test to check if my cancer treatment had affected my ability to have children. Simple enough, right? So, I went to a lab and inquired about giving a semen sample. What follows is the conversation I had on the phone with my mother while walking home (yes, on a busy public street).

Me: Hey, so I went to the lab today about that fertility test. The lady was very clear that I could not provide the sample there.

Mom: (sighs) Jamie, I really don’t need to hear this. (pause) Wait, so they don’t even give you a private room?

Me: Apparently not! Also, I have to abstain for a few days beforehand, and the sample has to be delivered within a specific time frame.

Mom: But you don’t have a car and you won’t make it on time by bus! Oh no. (pause) Can’t they just do it another way? Like, stick a big needle in there?

Me: I really hope not.

Mom: I really don’t need to hear about this… (pause) Anyway, have I told you about my mammograms?

Me: Yes. Repeatedly.

Fertility: The Question No One Wants to Ask
One of the hardest parts of surviving childhood cancer is dealing with the long-term effects—many of which don’t show up until years later. Fertility is a big one. It wasn’t on my 11-year-old mind, but fast forward a couple of decades, and suddenly, it’s a very real concern.

For some childhood cancer survivors, fertility can feel like an unanswered question lurking in the background. The only way to find out is through awkward, slightly mortifying medical tests. It’s not always an easy subject to talk about, but it’s important. Whether you’re considering having kids, exploring options like sperm or egg freezing, or just trying to understand how treatment may have affected you, asking the question is the first step. And if those conversations feel too awkward to have with a doctor, well—there’s always your mom.


Jamie is a childhood cancer survivor who takes pride in his role as Communications Assistant at POGO. His creativity and self-described “weirdness” is reflected in his writing and his presentations at POGO staff meetings. Reading and playing video games would be his well-developed hobbies if only his beloved cat, Lupin, would just give him some alone time.

Posted in Transitions | Tagged fertility, Jamie Irvine, late effects, POGO AfterCare Clinics, Survivor, survivorship, transition

Dr. Mike Neal: Male Fertility Concerns for Survivors

Posted on November 18, 2016 by Kelly Zorzi

Dr. Mike Neal: Male Fertility Concerns for Survivors

One false assumption is that childhood cancer treatment won’t have an effect on fertility. It is important to increase awareness about the options men have prior to and post treatment. Procedures can be easy and inexpensive and can offer insurance to young men who are hoping to have a family down the road.

Michael Neal, BSc. (Hons), MSc is the Scientific Director at ONE Fertility in Burlington Ontario. He spoke at POGO’s 2013 Survivor Conference: Life after Childhood Cancer. 

Straight Talk about Childhood Cancer is POGO’s series of video shorts featuring the insights of experts whose leading-edge work impacts the care, treatment and quality of life of childhood cancer patients, survivors and their families.

Posted in 2013 Survivor Conference, Education for Survivors, Straight Talk Videos | Tagged 2013 Survivor Conference, childhood cancer survivors, Dr Mike Neal, fertility, late effects, male fertility preservation, survivorship

Dr. Ellen Greenblatt: Female Fertility Concerns for Survivors

Posted on April 6, 2016 by Kelly Zorzi

Dr. Ellen Greenblatt: Female Fertility Concerns for Survivors

It is crucial for childhood cancer patients to remember that life does go on after cancer. Understandably, fertility is an important aspect of that. Cancer treatments, however, can jeopardize reproductive health, most notably due to certain chemotherapy agents, particularly the class called alkylating agents that can kill off eggs in women and sperm in men. Radiation treatment to the pelvis can also affect ovarian function or the ability for the uterus to carry a pregnancy.

Despite such concerns, Dr. Greenblatt assures young survivors that there are many therapies that are less toxic and that pregnancy after cancer is not associated with a higher risk of abnormalities in children. She recommends visiting a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility centre if you have undergone treatment yourself. While such measures are recommended, Dr. Greenblatt provides a healthy reminder: all women, not only survivors, must think of family planning as planning their family rather than leaving it up to chance.

Ellen Greenblatt, MD, FRCSC is the Medical Director for the Centre for Fertility and Reproductive Health at the Mount Sinai Hospital and Associate Professor of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of Toronto. She spoke at POGO’s 2013 Survivor Conference: Life after Childhood Cancer. 

Straight Talk about Childhood Cancer is POGO’s new series of video shorts featuring the insights of experts whose leading-edge work impacts the care, treatment and quality of life of childhood cancer patients, survivors and their families.

Posted in 2013 Survivor Conference, Education for Survivors, Straight Talk Videos | Tagged 2013 Survivor Conference, childhood cancer survivors, Dr. Ellen Greenblatt, female fertility preservation, fertility, late effects, survivorship

Managing Your Fertility: Current Options, Practical Strategies

Posted on November 26, 2015 by admin


VIEW THE PRESENTATIONS

Presentation Description: 
This session presented a brief overview of options for fertility preservation in female and male survivors of childhood cancer. Mostly, the session reviewed the options for survivors who are unable to conceive post treatment.  The session discussed the options for building a family using third party reproduction.  The practical and legal perspectives were discussed for surrogacy, donor eggs and donor sperm

Speakers:
Sara R. Cohen, LL.B.
Fellow of the American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys
Adjunct Professor, Osgoode Hall Law School

Karen Glass, MD, FRCS(C), FACOG
Reproductive Endocrinologist, CReATe Fertility Centre
Director, Oncofertility Program
Assistant Professor, University of Toronto.

Posted in 2015 Survivor Conference, Education for Survivors | Tagged 2015 survivor conference, donor eggs, donor sperm, fertility, infertility, surrogacy

Workshop A – Female Fertility: Your Questions Answered

Posted on January 15, 2014 by admin


VIEW THE PRESENTATION

Presentation Description:
Fertility concerns are not unique to cancer survivors, but survivors often have exceptional circumstances that can affect fertility options. This workshop will answer your burning questions about female fertility, including options and next steps if you’re thinking of starting a family.

Speaker:
Ellen Greenblatt, MD, FRCSC
Medical Director, Centre for Fertility and Reproductive Health
Mount Sinai Hospital, Toronto

Posted in 2013 Survivor Conference, Education for Survivors | Tagged fertility, IVF, late effects, Oncofertility, ovarian failure, ovarian reserve

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